A few of you have posted on this recently too. I'm learning how to show vs. tell. I think I'm getting there--my CPs say so. I write in first person so this is crucial to my writing. It definately makes a difference. Drawing the reader in, making your characters real.
I tried to remember that lovely classroom lesson of show n tell.
You show what you will tell about.
You stand up in front of the class.
Shaking slightly.
A cough comes from the back row.
Your heart thumps in your ear as dozens of sparkling eyes lay upon you.
Waiting.
You hold up the floppy stuffed animal like a trophy.
Then after the kids eww and ahh about it ...you tell. This is my dog spot. He has white and black fuzzy fur. He can bark. He also needs a bath because he smells funny. My brother tries to eat him and says he tastes like plastic. I love my dog, he's my best friend.
What happens when you show it? You the owner hold it up to the class letting them see the object (let's say the stuffed dog). The class will observe- noting the texture (touch), color, sound (if it barks in which it would require batteries), taste (some kids do this--just sayin') and smell. That's right the five senses. So how would you write this?
A deep musty smell traveled up my nostrils as I rolled over. I pulled my best friend from under me.
"Good morning, Spot."
Squeezing my little companion, a plastic taste filled my mouth as a bunch of fur blanketed my tongue.
Wiping the hair from my tongue, I cringed. "Yuck. blah."
"You bad dog you." Spot stared back leaving no expression but let out a light bark.
"Oh no. Mom needs to change your batteries." I scratched the scruffy fur behind his ear.
"Mom! I need new batteries for Spot," I yelled.
My mom opened my door. "You don't have to yell, sweetie. I'll check and see if we have any." She gently picked up the fuzzy beast. "I'll also have to throw Spot in the laundry. His white fur almost matches his black spots."
I'm sure this isn't the best example. Probably pretty crude and my little kid sounds a little more adult. I guess that's why I write YA. Forgive me if I made a mistake. I also put it in a different setting--again I'm not a certified teacher but I hope you get the idea.
Please check out these posts on showing and telling as well as dealing with writing senses.
Erica Mitchell Spickard -about writing about the senses.
This fantastic post by the lovely Lola Sharp. I think she explains this much better than I did. Please check it out!!
Contests:
Karen G is having a contest. Ends June 1st. Pay it Forward contest. Really cool.
B. Miller is having a Pay it Forward contest ending June 1st. Actually, she started it. Go check it out--it's awesome.
Christi Goddard-106 followers contest. Write a 500 word story and you can win an awesome prize. Ends June 15th.
Frankie at Frankie Writes-Having a 500 follower contest. Lots of signed books. If you go there tell her I sent you. Ends June 6th.
Blogfest:
Michelle Gregory is holding a blogfest July 1st. The Share your Darlings Blogfest. Check it out!
Have a great day! Have a great Memorial Day!
