Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Believing

So it's been a while. I have no excuse other than I'm finding myself. Does that even make sense? I've been trying to figure myself out for a while especially my writing self. As with all journeys, my path has been a rollercoaster and continues to be. When I first started taking this seriously, I was wide eyed and probably had more confidence in myself than I do now, which is not much. I've learned along the way that that's only part of the puzzle. I've struggled to find my place, which leads to me not having anything to say or repeating myself like I am now. The one thing that I needed to grasp is to believe. You know the cat poster in THE LEGO MOVIE. Yes, believe. If you don't have it in your heart that you can, you won't. It can be a difficult thing to do especially for someone like me.

Along the way on this path, I've written and rewritten, cried and did happy dances, got many critiques, cried some more, received many rejections, didn't want to talk about it, but the one thing I don't think I was consistent with was believing. There were times, but it wasn't a feeling I always possessed especially in my stories. It was hard to sometimes because I'm always getting rejected. Seems understandable, I guess. But the thing is --if you don't believe in the story, it won't believe in you. It will show. Some of my stories are hot messes because I was changing them to fit the market or an opinion. I didn't believe in it. I didn't back it up and stand up for what I was trying to do. This turns into learning how and what you want and only taking the advice when you know it will improve the story. Some have told me if more than two critiques address a problem then listen. It's advice I've known for years but haven't implemented myself. I was too scared that I wasn't experienced enough to know.

The truth is I am. So I'm not a teacher or librarian or bookseller. I dabbled in my visions and took them to the next level. I have to believe that I can and that what I'm doing with my stories is what I want even if no one wants it. Believing does make a difference. It shows through in the writing.

How about you--have you learned to believe?

Have a great day!