Most of my life I have been a quiet, shy girl. I never wondered why things happen they just did and I thought I would grow up, get married, have a couple of kids, maybe work a little and live life--like my mom. Not that there is anything wrong with my mom's life. I thought --"that's what I should do." I went to college for something I thought I loved but really I just like it and it gets me by.
But why did I think this? I realize now that it's not me.
My best friend stresses that everything happens for a reason. Whether good or bad--it happens and you may or may not know right away-- why.
I sort of believed her but it wasn't until recently that I really believed her.
Last year, I started my current WiP. Why did I start it then? Why not 11 years ago when I started doodling ideas down on paper just to get them out of my head?
Beacuse I wasn't ready.
It took me 11 years to gain confidence, take criticism, and be the person I am now. There are some days, I wish I figured out how much I loved writing and went to college for something writing related. Would I be farther than I am now? I don't know.
I feel like my age (o.k. I'll tell ya 36) is part of it. Approaching 40 makes me feel sick at times --I have a fear of getting old. Yes, I know weird--right? Don't we all have this feeling? :) It made me look back and think of how stupid I was but showed me why my life took the path it did. I had many opportunites that would have sent me on a detour--on a different path but I refused to take them. Why? Sometimes I wonder where I would be today if I did. Would I be in a better position in the writing world? Instead of trying to gain the respect of other writers and working extra hard to make my writing better--would I already be there? Would I already be published?
Then I looked hard and really looked at certain pieces of my life--- I see why things happened. I went college for interior design so I could gain confidence in myself, to be more outgoing and learn how to market myself.
Having kids has made me a little more patient--just a little. They provide me with love and the motivation to write. I want to show them that no matter what-- you can try to accomplish any goal no matter what age.
I married my hubby because he is a wonderful man and does push me to do what I believe in.
I also realize I don't want to live my life with regret. Like I have said before, I have a few but I must hurdle over them and move ahead. Regrets only slow you down.
I know that I'll write till the creativity that runs in my veins is drained. Till there is nothing left. (that's not including when Edward changes me into a vampire). :) Sorry I always have vampires on the brain.
Ahem! I'll continue...and whether or not I get published (although I really, really want to one day. Who doesn't, right?)
There are many roads for our journey and you must be able to read the signs that are right for you. The signs that lead you to happiness.
Where is your road leading you?
Do you believe things happen for a reason?
How do you get over regrets?
What has made you realize that writing is your passion?
I don't have the secret formula on figuring this out. Hey, it has taken me 36 years to figure out this much.
Happy writing and have a great day!