Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Insecure Writer's Support Group

Well, I just realized that today was Insecure Writer's Support Group hosted by the amazing Alex J. Cavanaugh. My other post will have to happen another day.

So, here's where I'm at--still in frustrated mode. I have to say that my revisions this time around are going so slow. Way slow. As you know, I'm a bit of an impatient person. I feel like I want to vomit every time I look at my manuscript. I know, take a break. I have. A lot. I think my issue is that I see the end--I just have to get there. I do have the drive, the want...everything, but when I look at it, I start to feel sick. I clam up and hesitate.

 I think every writer at some point feels this way. Maybe they work on something else, read a book or watch a movie. Check, check, and check. Yep, I did them. The one problem, which isn't bad, is my mind keeps getting flooded with new characters telling me their story. They actually speak to me and tease me with a scene. I try to throw myself into their world, but it's like I'm cheating on the other manuscript (the one that I'm trying to send to queryland) and the new characters go silent. They slide back into their dark hole while my fingers freeze. It's like I don't know how to write something new. I do have another novel that is in dire need of revisions, another story outlined, and countless scenes to a bunch of ideas, but I can't get fully into their mode.

Maybe I'm in limbo. You know, like when a child is about to walk. They struggle to stand, and when they do they're excited. Then they fall, and cry, and maybe turn to something else like a toy before trying again, because they're scared. When they try again, they hesitate. Maybe they're thinking of how to continue, maybe not. They may repeat this cycle until they take that first step and succeed. Sure they'll fall again, but they get back up and keep trying until their walking is perfected.

I think that's where I'm at. I'm struggling to take the next step. I'm stopping for that toy to distract me. I'm learning a lot, but hesitant and overwhelmed by all the information I'm trying to process. I know once I apply it, I will be perfecting it, but I'm also scared out of my mind that when I take that step and fall --will I get back up?

I know I will, it's a stupid question to even think, but it's natural. I think I need to follow my gut. Once I apply some of these rules and refresh some scenes, it will be ready. I think. I hope, because nothing new will flow until this one's out of my head. Plus, like with anything new, I'll probably be fine once it's gone and I've gone through the whole process, but it's that step that feels so huge and makes me feel so little.

I'm keeping in mind that it's like riding a bike. Once I get out of revision mode, I will be able to write another novel in no time. I maybe shaky at first, but once the wheels turn I'll enjoy the ride.

How's your progress?

Have a great day!

16 comments:

  1. Revisions can sometimes go very slowly esp. if you realize you need to rewrite whole chunks! A day at a time!

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  2. You're right about not being alone. But don't forget writing should be fun. Work, yes, but fun work. Sometimes it's easy to forget that part. Good luck!

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  3. One day--one word at a time. And remember, it isn't a race so take your time, take those breaks when you need to recharge. It will happen.

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  4. Great analogy. It's exactly like that.
    Follow that gut of yours.
    I was stuck on something for so long and then I finally listened to my gut and scrapped my chapter, took another path and the dam broke. It's not easy but it's what we do.
    Keep writing.
    HMG

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  5. I just need to finish so I can even get to the revision stage :). Thanks for sharing your post.

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  6. Pesty new characters are always getting in my way tempting me with yet another idea. Hard for the mind that gets so easily distracted. I totally relate to that. Revisions are the boring part. Hang in there :)

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  7. Oh, I know exactly what you mean about the new characters shutting up when you give them attention. That guilt of "I should be working on this manuscript instead."

    I know you'll take the next step. Perhaps your mind just isn't ready for it. Maybe something will inspire you to take the revisions up a notch. You never know, but I'm sure you'll figure it out.

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  8. I'm having a similar problem. I'm re-writing a ms from beginning to end, and it gets hard b/c I'm afraid I'll do all this and it won't be better. Idon't really want the plot to change and it has to, and I got a new really strong idea w/ really strong characters. However, I'm not the kind of person who can flip back and forth between projects like that. I wish I had advice for you, but man I don't know. The only thing you could maybe do is set aside a chunk of time each day w/ a goal of how many pages to edit and try to get through it faster, so at least it would be done.

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  9. These are such perfect analogies! But you know in the end it will happen. Good luck!

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  10. Oh, gosh. Revision mode can feel like you're being locked in a cave for an unknown amount of time until you can dig your way out. Some of my revisions took months and months. But you can find your way out! Keep in mind that this is just a necessary part of the journey, and you'll eventually move on to the next step. You can do it!

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  11. My progress has completely stalled. I'm afraid revisions will be the death of me. Fortunately, I have my day job and a bunch of snow to shovel. Maybe the manual labor will shake something loose...

    Good luck.

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  12. I think I'm gonna print this off and use it as a personal pep talk for those all-too-often occasions when I need one. Like right now!! I'm having a hard time taking that first step, too, only for me, it's the outline. But you make some great points and I shall listen and try to be patient.

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  13. I think you did just get back up - now go revise!

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  14. I know this one all to well. Fortunately I love doing revisions, but it isn't easy when your other characters won't shut up. :D

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  15. I'm hearing you loud and clear. Stand up, we'll hold your hand, and if you fall, we'll pick you up :-)

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