So, here's where I'm at--still in frustrated mode. I have to say that my revisions this time around are going so slow. Way slow. As you know, I'm a bit of an impatient person. I feel like I want to vomit every time I look at my manuscript. I know, take a break. I have. A lot. I think my issue is that I see the end--I just have to get there. I do have the drive, the want...everything, but when I look at it, I start to feel sick. I clam up and hesitate.
I think every writer at some point feels this way. Maybe they work on something else, read a book or watch a movie. Check, check, and check. Yep, I did them. The one problem, which isn't bad, is my mind keeps getting flooded with new characters telling me their story. They actually speak to me and tease me with a scene. I try to throw myself into their world, but it's like I'm cheating on the other manuscript (the one that I'm trying to send to queryland) and the new characters go silent. They slide back into their dark hole while my fingers freeze. It's like I don't know how to write something new. I do have another novel that is in dire need of revisions, another story outlined, and countless scenes to a bunch of ideas, but I can't get fully into their mode.
Maybe I'm in limbo. You know, like when a child is about to walk. They struggle to stand, and when they do they're excited. Then they fall, and cry, and maybe turn to something else like a toy before trying again, because they're scared. When they try again, they hesitate. Maybe they're thinking of how to continue, maybe not. They may repeat this cycle until they take that first step and succeed. Sure they'll fall again, but they get back up and keep trying until their walking is perfected.
I think that's where I'm at. I'm struggling to take the next step. I'm stopping for that toy to distract me. I'm learning a lot, but hesitant and overwhelmed by all the information I'm trying to process. I know once I apply it, I will be perfecting it, but I'm also scared out of my mind that when I take that step and fall --will I get back up?
I know I will, it's a stupid question to even think, but it's natural. I think I need to follow my gut. Once I apply some of these rules and refresh some scenes, it will be ready. I think. I hope, because nothing new will flow until this one's out of my head. Plus, like with anything new, I'll probably be fine once it's gone and I've gone through the whole process, but it's that step that feels so huge and makes me feel so little.
I'm keeping in mind that it's like riding a bike. Once I get out of revision mode, I will be able to write another novel in no time. I maybe shaky at first, but once the wheels turn I'll enjoy the ride.
How's your progress?
Have a great day!
