Monday, March 8, 2010

Would you keep reading ?

Holy cow! my followers have grown.  Thank you guys! I guess I will have to start thinking about a 100 followers contest.  I hope everyone had a great weekend! I got a lot done.

1. Read my baby beginning to end and boy do I have a lot of revising.

2. Came up with a new twist that I will most likely put in Book 2.

3. Came up with some ideas for another idea I thought of a few months back that is totally unrealated to my current WiP.

4. I actually had a dream for a new idea which is weird for me because usually music guides me.

5. Finished a critique.

6. Revised my first chapter for the 3rd time.

7. Won a gift card on sarahjayne's blog.  Thank you again! Yeah! I hope I have luck like this when I start to query.

My brain was really working.  Before I start my post a couple of things --

1. Go to Kelly's Compositions and sign up for the first page blogfest.  It will take place on April 2nd.  This is the first blogfest I will be participating in--yeah!

2. Every Tuesday and Thursday --The Beta Club over at Roni (Fiction Groupie) posts a piece for an open critique.  Roni is so awesome. So go there and give your thoughts on the piece posted.  I will be posting but not until April.

Now on with my post.  I wrote this quickly and wanted feedback. I have been finding any sort of feedback extremely helpful so comment away but keep it in a nice tone.



 I am not going to tell you what it is for--it could be for my current WiP or something else I am thinking about.  After reading it, please review my questions below. Thanks!

Excruciating pain bled through my body as I hit the hard pavement. I landed on my back and I laid there looking up at the dark sky watching the stars wink at me.

What happened? Ran through my mind.

The heat began to slide down out of my body leaving it numb as it escaped. My throat constricted allowing limited air flow to my lungs. Faces of people began to crowd my view and their voices muffled as their mouths moved in slow motion. A metallic smell began to flood my nostrils as warm sticky liquid dripped into my ear.

My vision blurred then a curtain of black lowered in my sight.

So give me your thoughts.

Here are some questions too.

1. If you read this at the end of a first chapter would you want to continue reading?

2. What do you think is happening here?

3. Any pointers on what I could do to make it better?

Just some fun.  Thought I would put it out there.  My posts may be random this week so keep checking. As always I will be commenting, I can't seem to keep my mouth shut. :) Have a great day!