Sunday, January 24, 2010

Patience

I am not a very patient person. I try my hardest but most of the time deep down I am screaming to keep going --move on. A lot of people who do know me say I am a patient person but when I want to do something and something is blocking my way my eyes shoot fire and my throat lets out a growl.

So here I am learning to fight the impatience that tortures me. I am impatient right now because it feels like my first draft is taking an eternity to get out of my head. The three chapters I wrote last week have just sat there waiting --waiting for me to continue. I want to write the rest but then real life tends to block my hand as it approaches the keys. I am sitting here typing this with one hand so my son can sleep on the other. I have to soak in this moment though because I know one day when he is in his teens he will not want to have anything to do with me. I guess I fear that if there is a window of oppourtunity for me I may miss it.  I can't worry about this I know but it is always stuck back there in my mind.

That means time management and yes-- to be patient.

One day this novel may become something-- who knows --but I have to realize that this it is not a race. It is not how fast I can crank it out to ease my impatience but how well I can do it. I want to write something that is from me --the me who is patient.

Does anyone else get impatient or anxious? How do you deal with it?

13 comments:

  1. Whenever I feel impatient, I remember that I'm not in a race, like you said. A good idea isn't going to fly out the window. You'll still have it, no matter when you have the time to write it.

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  2. I get anxious all the time. Wen I do, music is always the best remedy. I put in some Death Cab for Cutie or Radiohead and I'm all good to go. Sometimes The Beatles are the ticket, too.

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  3. I tend to be very patient. The times when I do start becoming impatient are when others are impatient and start pressuring me. I can sit in traffic okay but it can be very annoying when people start honking horns. Or at a meeting when I trying to deal with problems in a logical and careful manner and other people start getting angry and pushing me. When I am working on my own, if I start becoming impatient with myself I find a distraction-- go grocery shopping, take a walk, do housework, or maybe even watch TV (rarely). I try to step away from whatever is starting to frustrate me until I miss it or have resolved some of whatever it was that frustrated me in the first place.
    Lee

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  4. Thank you Mariah, Jonathon and Arlee for your feedback.

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  5. Hi Christine,

    I'm new to your blog. I understand the impatience oh so well. Writing is tough for everyone but especially for moms, because we keep putting it down to take care of our kids who must come first, and then there you go. Lose the train of thought, lose the creativity while you're making peanut butter sandwiches, wonder if it's even worth it to finish such a large project. Sorry, I have no advice for you, just a great big sigh of been there, done that, and I know just how you feel!

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  6. I'm right there with you! So funny, because I was actually thinking about patience this morning. You are right though, this isn't a race. It's the journey that counts.

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  7. Oh for sure!! There are so many things to get impatient about in the writing life! Waiting on queries, agents, edits, etc.! But I've been learning not to miss the joy of the journey for fixating on the destination!

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  8. Oh, I know this feeling so well! I don't think there's a single step in the writing process that doesn't try your patience...and then to be a mom on top of it, well...it's a lot to deal with. But you can do it, and it will all get done and your manuscript will be born and your son will grow, and all will be well. Years from now you will look back and smile upon your adventures, feeling proud of all you've accomplished. But now...just have to get through now. One day--one word at a time.

    By the way, I left an award for you at my blog!

    http://carol-in-print.blogspot.com/2010/01/in-mood.html

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  9. I need to have realistic expectations. When I do not, then I am prone to being impatient and anxious. Time tables are the main culprit. I need to be realistic when setting a goal and allow myself an additional 20 percent to finish rather than being stringent on a particular date.

    Stephen Tremp

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  10. I eat! Think of how lucky you are to have such beautiful children, great support, and a wonderful talent. You have got more than most. So look at it that way. Get what you can and think of that as a gift. We love you and admire your dedication and drive. Of course you get stressed we all do. Keep up the good work!

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  11. Thank you everyone for your support and your tips. I also want to thank those who are visiting for the first time. Thanks it is nice to hear feedback.

    Thanks Carolina for the award!

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  12. i admire any mom who can write with small kids in the house. i have 2 teens and an 8 year old and i still have trouble getting to it.

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  13. Patience is no more than vice for the pious who was smart enough to call it virtue and I have no patience for that sort of madness it makes me anxious.
    You have a lovely week.
    Warm regards,
    Simone.

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