Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Accepting yourself

Throughout my life this is one thing that I always stumble upon--accepting myself the way I am. I'm not a weirdo or anything. Well, maybe that's an opinion. Since high school, I've tried my best to fit in and found I really only fit in with the kids who didn't. Even then, I sometimes felt like a poseur, a person just accepted because I was nice, not for who I really was. Who was I? I really didn't know. But that's high school. You're looking for something, something that makes you not feel like you are a total outcast, a total zero.

Now, some of you may feel differently and that's fine. You may say, I like who I am and those who don't can just deal. So, you don't have to read the rest of this. I won't bore you. At times, I put this game face on, but deep down, I know I'm still looking. Even as an adult, I try my best to just fit in. I can relate to a lot of different types of folks so I'm not a total social idiot. I'm civil, in fact, I can be down right happy, but there is always something that never feels entirely real, like does this person really understands me, or are just being nice because they think I'm weird or not genuine or not serious. It's hard to describe, this feeling of acceptance.

So, at every stage in my life I try to learn who I am. What makes me...me?

Some things have changed since high school. I'm definitely more confident, and more determined to get what I want. Some things have not--taste in music, books, TV shows, all seem to stay the same. I'm finally have realized that writing is the one passion, I  should've figured out sooner. Really, all the signs were there, I guess my brain wasn't. When I entered this whole writing world, I felt like, wow, this is me, totally, and it is, I just have to realize that I may still be the outsider in some situations. I have to keep doing what I want to do and not worry what others think of me. Sure, I'm not the coolest, obviously, I'm not the smartest, the most technical, or the most popular.  I have to accept what I am good at, what makes me happy, as for my shortcomings, I must figure out how to make them better. I have to accept what is in my life and that I can't do it all. I can't keep up with some people and that's okay.

Learning to accept who you are is just that--you must learn it, and yes, there will be many times of why don't they like me, but you know what, you have something that's totally different, maybe making some people wish they had that too, they just don't say it. We can't please everyone. Another thing I have issues with, since that's all I felt like I had to do, please people, but I'm learning that you can't and it's okay. Pleasing yourself is the best feeling in the world.

I guess that's why I write YA. I wish I was more like my characters in high school. Going out with a totally hot guy, having some sort of super power on a rollercoaster ride to solving mysteries and dealing with super villians who are trying to take over the world. Hey, one can dream.

Have you had issues with accepting yourself?

Have a great day!

13 comments:

  1. I had a lot of issues when I was young, but as I got older I learned to cherish my differences. I guess for some people it takes longer to feel comfortable in their own skin.

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  2. I think everyone has that moment in their life where they feel like they don't fit in anywhere. I did when I was younger and it wasn't until I was 17 that I changed it all. I decided to be happy. It wasn't until 23 that I actually found myself. Found something that made me truly happy. My husband is an absolute godsend but my writing is what saved me.

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  3. I was totally a fish out of water when I was a teenager, but then I grew up, and became awesome.

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  4. I've accepted myself for as long as I can remember- but accepting isn't the same thing as feeling proud or satisfied with who I am. The important thing for me is to keep striving to be better.

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  5. I have issues w/ accepting myself daily! But I think lots of people do. Great post.
    bethfred.com

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  6. Love Matthew's comment. I'm with Creepy Query Girl: I accept myself but that doesn't mean I'm happy about who I am. Besides, 'myself' changes depending on who I'm with, where I am, and how I'm feeling so talking about self-acceptance opens up a whole philosophical can of worms because do we really have one true self?

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  7. If I'm frustrated with people who I don't connect with because I'm trying to be something I'm not to please them. As soon as I knock it off and be myself, I like them better and they like me better, too. Being myself gives everyone, myself included, a chance to get to know the real me.

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  8. It's harder in high school because of all the social cliques. But I was always happy to be me, especially once I got in the real world and realized that stuff no longer mattered.

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  9. I think you already know how I felt about high school - and middle school for that matter. I never felt like I belonged in that environment, and I always felt I was missing out on the experiences others had.

    I have a horrible habit of looking through windows, envying the life and circumstances others are blessed with. And it always makes me feel really bad about where I ended up. To many, I have accomplished a great deal, but that doesn't mean I'm happy with things. The truth is, I don't want to accept myself as a struggler, but that's sort of where I fell, at least for the moment.

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  10. It took me 37 years to accept myself, and to stop trying to be something I wasn't just to please other people. I still consider myself a work-in-progress, but the things I am working on are to suit me, nobody else.

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  11. ...cute post, Christine;) I think its common for all of us at some point in our lives to struggle with the person we are, or perhaps the kind of person we'd like to one day become.

    Perhaps its something we will stumble over and tinker with forever...figuring out who we are, and why we're here.

    EL

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  12. Oh yes. I'm much better now than I was, but I still do a lot of self-analysis and I'm way too sensitive to to other people's reactions.

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  13. I have soooo many issues with this and I'm 38. I have good days and bad days, but I do feel like picking up the pen a year ago and writing my first novel was the first time I really felt at home in myself. Sure, it's hard, but it makes me happy in a way nothing else I've ever done has. Slowly but surely, I'm discovering myself and wishing I had done this much much sooner.

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