Friday, February 26, 2010

Yikes--a snipit...breathe ...oh and contests.

O.k. so I toyed with not thinking of my MC's Ian and Anna and it is difficult not to-- so after you read about more awesome contests you can enter go down a little further and read a brand spanking new clip from my WIP.  Why I put myself through constant torture is beyond me. I have decided that I have contracted a disease called knotinmytummyitis--it flairs up every time I post one of these snipits.  I guess I am getting myself ready for the world of rejection.  I think it may roll off my back a lot easier if I torture myself now.  Anyway, It is not in the original first draft and it needs work...a lot of work but I thought I would see what you thought.  I came up with it on a whim.  There is more to it but it would reveal too much of the story and -well- this post would be wicked long.  Please be gentle but I will take any criticism--I'm getting used to it. :) 

A couple of contests I have found and thought I would mention first --yes I am putting you off --the blogger--from reading my snipit.

Contest on Noelle Nolan--A Life Rewritten  Check out her cool blog and enter to get a $10 gift card to Amazon.com-- Wahoo!


Contest on Reading Writing Rachel Way cool--win a copy of her book Hex Hall-- autographed of course, a Hex Hall t-shirt (yes, they are cool too), and a $25 gift card to Barnes and Noble--Wow!



O.k. a snipit.  This is not in my first draft so totally brand spankin new.  Again please disregard the messiness. This is a dialogue between Ian and Anna again no teaser of the whole story just a simple back and forth.

I played with lace on my shoe as I prepared myself to ask.  "What about you?  You seem to hide behind a wall about your family."

"Like I said before, it would require therapy if I told you." he wrapped his arms around his knees looking away from my gaze. He picked up a small pebble and rubbed between his finger almost as if he wanted to tell me--tell me all of it but something held him back.  I was getting annoyed at his games and all the hiding he protected me from. In fact, It was making me angry.

"That's it!" I stood up with a huff.

"What!" His eyes laid back to mine but they tried not to portray that he was just as annoyed as me. 

"Really, are they that bad?" I put my hand on my hip and slapped the other hand on my thigh.  I had to stand my ground and show I would not fall.  Not fall into his beautiful eyes, or melt into the palm of his hands. 

Focus Anna! screamed from the back of my mind. I shook my head as I diverted my sight away from him and onto an ugly brown leaf that crumpled in the corner of the old ruin.

"Yes, they are." He stood slowly and turned his body to compliment mine.

"So that is how this relationship is going to go.  I pour my life onto you but I get nothing in return." I turned away and faced the cobbled rock wall sliding my finger across a jagged edge.

"If you mean return as in my personal detailed resume... then your right ...nothing." his tone so calm compared to my insides which were about to explode like a volcano erupting in annoyance at the fact that I know nothing about him.  I turned to face him and to my surprise he was right in front of me. 

How did he get here so fast? My thoughts began to toy with reality. Don't look at him in the eyes..avoid the eyes. If you do you will loose control and he will win.

He smiled then pushed a stray hair away from my face and my stupid eyes gave in-- catching his ice blue ones that tamed the angry fire that was burning in my gut. Every bit of me loosing the reasons why I was so annoyed and allowing his lips to cause a distraction --a distraction that made my mind clear and forget why I was angry in the first place.



There you go.  I wrote this quickly yesterday so it is by no means in any shape to be considered remotely good but I promised you a snipit so this one is fresh out of the brain. 

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend:)

15 comments:

  1. I like it. You've done a good job showing me these characters in a relatively small snippit. I like how he rubs the pebble between his fingers and seems unsure and pensive. that moment works very well. thanks for sharing!

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  2. You've given a great portrayal of character for both in such a small snip. She lets her emotions fly and he keeps his bottled. I see trouble brewing ;)

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  3. I love it! I like how she is exploding and he isn't. Great job. I can't wait to read this in the revision and how it all comes together.

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  4. This is a wonderful exchange that portrays both characters through dialogue and action. I really liked the artistry in this line: I turned away and faced the cobbled rock wall sliding my finger across a jagged edge. The action and description mirrored the conflict perfectly. Best of luck with it!!

    ((hugs)) Nicole

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  5. Good job, Christine! I especially like how she's trying to stay mad, but she can't when she looks at him. I know I still have that problem with my love.

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  6. Really nice Christine! I like how you use details, not too many just enough to show the mood. And I like the tension between these two. Romantic tension = me smiling :) Good job!

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  7. Good for you in sharing the snippet. And I think you've got some nice stuff going on here. Thanks for reading the article I wrote for Lisa and Laura's site! Good luck with your writing!

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  8. Thanks for the follow. Following you back and looking forward to reading more!

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  9. Excellent, Christine - I love it! And thanks for the contest links. I didn't know about those ones. Have a great weekend. :-)

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  10. Great snippet, Christine! I can never stay mad at my hubby for very long either, even though I really try to sometiems. : D

    Loved it!

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  11. I enjoyed their exchange. I also liked how Ian kept distracting Anna.

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  12. She lets her emotions fly and he keeps his bottled. I see trouble brewing ;)

    Work from home India

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  13. What a great snippet. I love the details you wrote in, they didn't crowd out everything else that made it awesome!

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  14. I'm intrigued. What is he hiding? Those sneaky blue eyes! Get a girl every time.

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  15. Blerg. I just lost my comment! Anyways, I said something along the lines of...I'm intrigued. What is he hiding? Damn those blue eyes! They get a girl every time!

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