Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Yes, a snipit and breathe...

I missed the Valentine's Day blogfest.  My WIP is no where near a finished product but I felt the need to do this.  Call me insane or on the verge of crazy for putting myself through the torture that is twisting in my stomach --maybe it is cabin fever.  That could be a real disease.  Enough blabbing Christine, just let it out--whew! Like I said, this is in no form of a final product so please excuse any mistakes.  This is a scene between my MC's Anna and Ian.  I don't want to give too much away so here it goes--*cringe* *biting my lip*---sorry for the length--

My breathing ceased as the doorbell echoed in my ears. I closed my eyes doing my count to ten exercises before I opened the door.
“Hi!” came out with a nervous twitch. I looked at him with a stare I could not break.

“Hi! Are you ready to go?” he looked me over which I didn’t mind in the least bit.

I just nodded and pulled the door closed making sure it locked.

“You look very nice.” He leaned down to my ear as the words were softly delivered and I hid the warm shiver that went through me.

We walked to his car and he opened the door for me as he did the night before. As he started to drive, the suspense was killing me and I was hoping we would go somewhere without a lot of people.

“So where are we going?”

“You’ll see…it is a surprise.” he smirked as he looked at the road ahead.

We drove for maybe five minutes and pulled into the parking lot of the Country Club. Great—I really didn’t want a fancy dinner at the Country Club. The town’s elite along with their offspring dining in pure snobbery. I would be the talk of the school not that I already was.

Ian pulled into a parking spot and turned to me-- watching my reaction.

“The Country Club..Really?” I tried not to make it sound like I was disappointed.

“No..I just have to park here”


“You will see. Here put this on.” Ian leaned over me to get into his glove box. His cologne made my mouth water and his touch sent my blood rushing to my face.

“What is it?” I said with a hint of breathlessness.

“A blind fold, I don’t want you to see where we are going.” he held up a black velvet blindfold as I was taken back not sure what to make of it.

“Don’t worry I will guide you.” he handed me the blind fold.

“O.k.” my word flowed out with hesitation.

I placed the blindfold up to my eyes, tying the straps behind my head and Ian guided me from the car. We walked a short distance until the pavement turned into grass. I kept my mouth shut knowing his answer to my one and only question of the moment would be---- you will see.

My shoes crunched on some leaves and Ian stopped.

“Wait here for a minute” I heard him move something like a branch cracking in half and he took my hand to guide me to him.

 Where on earth are we?  I thought.

He then placed his hands on my waist to pulling me to our destination. We stopped and I felt him unravel the knot of the blindfold.

As the darkness lifted, I focused on bright lights that flooded my corneas. I tried to catch the breath that was becoming short with the excitement that was beginning to build in my chest.

Ian brought me to my sanctuary—the ruins of the old house. He had probably a hundred candles lit and scattered on any surface that would hold them. My mouth slightly opened without me trying. It was beautiful and so romantic I thought of possibly crying on the spot out of joy but I decided against it because it would ruin the moment.

“Well.” He stood there proud but waiting for my approval.

“It’s beautiful…It’s perfect.” I smiled back at him.

“Have a seat.” He pointed to a soft, blue blanket he had layed in the middle of the ruin.

I slowly sat still taking all of this in. It was so hard not to look in wonder. Ian sat down next to me just watching my face fully satisfied by his handy work.

“How did you do all this?”

“I know the security guard—Bill.” He smiled and handed me a glass of sparkling grape juice in champagne glass.

I looked at it strangely.

“We are not legal. You know to drink.” he winked.

“Right…so Bill helped you? How sweet.” The grape juice tickled my throat as it slid down.

“Yes, he really thought you deserved this. Oh.. and we need to be out of here by 10.” he turned and grabbed a few Tupperware containers opening them quickly. They contained fruit, cheeses and crackers.

“You didn’t have to do this” I picked up a grape and enjoyed the sweetness of it.

“No, I did-- especially after last night. You deserve a proper date.”

I tried not to let my staring freak him out but he has caught me off guard and making fall completely in love with him.

“What.” he noticed me staring.

“You are not normal are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean --are you really a teenager? Because the last I checked no teenage guy let alone any guy would do something like this.” My eyes rolled to indicate the display he has set.

“Yes, I am a teenager but I disagree with you. There are a few –Guys—that would do this. I guess I am one of the few.”

“I guess I’m the lucky one.” My smile was hard to erase in fact I think it was beaming.

“Oh…. here I got you something.” He turned to get something from behind him.

“What …why…. did you get me something. Was I supposed to get you something?”

He turned back to me with a cupcake in hand that held a lit candle on top.

“No, you were not supposed to get me anything. This is for you.” his eyes lit up as brightly as the candle.

“What is this for?” my words came out confused.

“It is for your birthday.”

“But my birthday was a month ago.”

“I know. I just wasn’t there to celebrate so here I am celebrating with you. Happy Birthday …well belated birthday.” He handed me the chocolate covered cupcake with rainbow sprinkles. “Make a wish.”

My wish was already coming true so I just closed my eyes and blew the candle out with one small breath. I really didn’t want to eat it right there in front of him. It looked delicious but I guess the girl inside me didn’t want him to see me stuff my face.

“So who told when my birthday was?” I had my suspicions.

“Who do think?” his lips pressed together and formed a small curve in the corner of his mouth.

“Ivy….”I licked the frosting that smudged on my finger.

“Well she sort of said that you never really celebrated your birthday on the actual day.”

“No, I didn’t. You know another year older and an adult to top it off plus my dad not being there. Let’s just say the combo made for a somber birthday.” I caught his eyes which made my heart flutter.

“And now…”

“Now …the most incredible birthday ever….I can’t believe this really. I am almost speechless.” I began to babble as my nervous crush whirled inside me. “Almost speechless..really..I…

His lips interrupted my verbal train. Thank goodness because it was turning ugly.  He kissed me softly and I was glad I didn’t eat that cupcake otherwise it would have been a chocolate mess. He seemed very confident and forward with his feelings for me and I have to admit this personality trait would normally shy me away but with him it made me want to follow him wherever he went.

Our lips took a brake by slowly parting and my lips quivered with the electricity that was left from his.

“Sorry. You are so cute when you babble that I can’t resist you.” He smiled as he saw me regain my sense of reality. “Speechless?”

I nodded. He then slid back leaning up against the one wall of the ruin and motioned for me to join him. I put the cupcake down and made myself comfortable next to him as he wrapped his arm around me. I instinctively leaned my head back onto his shoulder watching his fingers intertwine into mine.

“Thank you” I whispered

Ian kissed the top of my head as we sat there gazing up at the stars. He managed to make me feel loved, accepted and wanted all at the same time. I know I would never forget this for the rest of my life.

Yes I know cutsy, cliche but I love my characters and this was just a cute moment I came up with.  Now, I need to get to writing, and revising--yikes.  Nerves calm down!



  1. Very sweet! Look forward to reading more. :-)

  2. Endearing. And, yes, get back to revising, Monday's almost here!

  3. Don't be nervous, Christine. You are awesome! I love Ian, by the way. What a great character. Your descriptions are so good, and I enjoy Anna's point of view. She's a likable girl we can pull for. Thanks for the great post! Keep on sharing.

  4. Okay...where was this guy when I was a teenager???

  5. Awesome excerpt! I would totally keep reading :)

  6. Aww... I love it. When can we read more??? : )

  7. All of you are way too nice. Thanks and Jonathon I will get to revising :)

  8. Loved it Christine, especially the part when she didn't want to eat the cupcake! I love Ian and am very intrigued to know what's up with him. Good job!

  9. Left you something at my blog!

  10. Just beautiful. Christine you write brilliantly. You should be proud. It was a true pleasure to read.
    Warm regards my dear,

  11. I feel so embarrassed...but I fixed my mistake and wrote you back an apology in the comments! *blush*

  12. Oh my word! So sweeeeeet. I adore him already. The blindfold, the grape juice, the little cupcake a month after her birthday!! Awwww...this is the kind of guy I hope my daughters fall for. Lovely, Christine. Just lovely. What a beautiful falling in love scene. Thanks for sharing it. I'd say don't be nervous, but those words have no effect on me either. I always cringe sharing my writing. Just know that it was worth it ;)