Lately I've been having one of those deep freezes take hold of my brain. You know the ones where you can feel what you're writing. It's like something or someone removed a chunk of my brain. I know I've had them before and they scare the flippin' daylights out of me, and I'm starting to figure out why they happen to me.
Every time I learn something new or work on a 'technical' aspect of writing, it seems to freeze all creativity. It grabs hold of comfort and joy of writing and stuffs it into a bag that's black. I have so many new ideas (I can see vividly) and so much I need to do on the manuscript I want to query, but I freeze and that part of me trembles and curls into a corner. I want to feel it again. That love. That freeness. I know it will come back. It has to--to fill the void it's leaving. And I finally figured out why it's happening this time.
Remember my grammar post? Yeah, my weakness of grammar is holding that euphoric feeling captive. My fingers start then I stop in fear that it will be horrible. When I'm being technical, things don't flow. It's so scary because I miss that feeling when everything just pours out without thinking. I know I'm growing and my writing is getting stronger, but it just feels uncomfortable. Even in my posts--I'm afraid I missed something important and it's making me look stupid. It makes my writing rigid.
I've tried other things--taking a break, reading, free writing--all of it still leaves me frustrated and scared. This is one of those dips in the roller coaster ride. You know, where you're screaming your head off trying to make sense of which direction the coaster will go next. Where your stomach is in your throat and you can't let go because you might fly out of your seat. Yep, that feeling. It leaves a shiver.
The question is--How do you thaw out the frozen part of your brain? You're trying to learn, grow and strengthen, yet all the rules make you analyze and over think, stopping anything creative to flow. How can you recapture that feeling of being free?
Have a great day!