Wednesday, January 4, 2012

The Insecure Writer's Support Group--New outlook

First, don't forget to enter my giveaway for CRACKED by K.M. Walton. Ends January 16th. Go here to enter.
Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh for putting together the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Please go here to check out the other folks who take part.

If you read my post Saturday, you got a preview of what I will be briefly posting about today. Our outlook, how we see things, our perspective. It can be a big factor in our progress. Trust me, I know. For years, I've seen things in a negative light. I'd always think the world was against me or I'm not good enough no matter how much I'd learn. This is wrong. I know it. Last year, my way of thinking set me back. I let the success of others determine my success/worthiness and I wanted my dreams to happen now. The fact is--it doesn't work that way. Stupid, I know.

It wasn't until a friend (thanks Kate) told me that I had to look at things differently. I had to see how to get to where I want to be by taking on and loving challenges, and learning new things. Failure doesn't mean your worthless, it means your growing. Learn from your mistakes and grow. She recommended a book called MINDSET: THE NEW PSYCHOLOGY OF SUCCESS by Carol Dweck. I picked up a copy and started to read. Within the first few pages, my eyes opened and I slapped myself on the head. All these years, I've been holding myself back by simply relying on my fixed mindset. If it didn't come to me easy, I was hesitant to try, and if I failed, then I was worthless and stupid.

Now, after reading more of the book, I use what the author calls a growth mindset. I, for the first time in my life, have been smiling when a challenge is presented and realize how much I love to write and how much I want to grow and learn to make each of my stories better. I will get to where I want to be with a outlook on growing and being positive. Of course, this new mindset doesn't only apply to my writing, it applies to everything in my life. From being a wife/mother/friend to my other job as an interior designer. It applies to everything. It seems like once you change your outlook for one piece of your life, all the other pieces come into view and change. It a nice way to see things, it's refreshing. Of course, there will be bad days. Hey, nobody's perfect.

So how is your mindset?

I will be posting some great links over on my sidebar so stay tuned.

Have a great day!

30 comments:

  1. It's a difficult thing to change your mindset, but baby steps do help and, going in a positive direction, it makes a big difference. I try to nudge mine in the right way, but sometimes it just wants a cookie.

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  2. I'm glad to hear it. What's that Emerson saying? "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." Best of luck in your continued growth!

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  3. Sweetie, this is awesome! I'm so glad you feel this way. I know it's not always easy to take that 'high' road, but it sounds like you're traveling on it for good! Bravo!!

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  4. Face that challenge with a smile! What else are you going to do - cry? Well, maybe...

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  5. It sounds like a great book, and I'm glad it has affected your mindset in a positive light. It's so easy to let limitations drag a person down. I really like the idea of failure = growing. Growing is positive. :)

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  6. It is interesting how much I have been thinking about this lately too. I'm inclined to the sarcastic and snarky, but am working on this right now. I need to get a copy of that book. Great post!

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  7. I agree that mindset can't play a huge part in how your writing or life goes. I'm an optimist- maybe too much so, but I always want to see the silver lining so no matter what I look for it.

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  8. "Failure doesn't mean you're worthless...it means you're growing." What a GREAT statement. I'm going to write that on a sticky note and attach it to the wall in front of my desk.

    My mindset was much like yours. I'm trying to change it...I know it's wrong. I suppose that's the first step in change, right?

    I think I'll pick up a copy of the book you mentioned. I could use a good dose of it's wisdom!

    Michelle
    Author of Concilium, available July 2012
    Concilium: The Departure, November 2012

    www.Michelle-Pickett.com
    www.Conciliumbooks.com

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  9. Like physical exercise, a positive mindset needs to be continually worked to gain strength and maintain. Sometimes I slip into laziness. Thankfully diving into a good book on the subject (like you did) gets me 'exercising' again.

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  10. It seems we have the same affliction ;) Here's to changing our outlook for the better! I'm definitely going to pick up a copy of that book.

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  11. It sounds like a great book that I should probably read. Thanks for sharing!

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  12. It often IS a matter of how we look at things and changing our perspective can make all the difference in the world. That sounds like a wonderful book! Glad you found it :)

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  13. Fab advice. I learned how to do things this last year, I never in zillion years I thought I could. It's all in the mind. You can do anything you want. I know you've got it in you.

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  14. Thanks for this inspiring post... I've definitely struggled with this... I'm working on changing my perspective too. This sounds like a great book :)

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  15. So very true! I try never to allow failure to get me down. It's simply a new challenge. Every time I fall and skin my knees, those knees grow tougher. Failure is just a reason to find another way to do it. Try again!

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  16. Most people have a fear of failure. I've been there before, having failed at something and thought I was worthless for it. I'm glad you found a book that was able to get you thinking clearly about what failure is: opportunity. A chance to try again, something different maybe, and learn from the experience. Grow, as you said. As Thomas Edison said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

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  17. I always think that other people are a lot closer to perfect than I am so I appreciate this post. It's nice to be reminded that we're all growing as best we can. Thanks for brightening my day, Christine.

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  18. I think my mindset is pretty good right now. I just need to set aside 10 minutes to get myself going again with my writing. I'm going to do that right after I'm done blogging today.
    Karen

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  19. my mindset is generally pretty good. Even when i'm having a bad moment, i'm pretty good at at least tricking myself into thinking everything will turn out great.

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  20. This is so true! I can feel myself spiraling. Literally. When I feel like that, the first thing I do is close the computer. That helps instantly and helps to ground me in what is real, which in turn, improves my mindset.

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  21. Yay that you've finally realized this. This has been my mindset for a while. It makes for a happier person I find. :D

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  22. I find I can write under just about any condition, any circumstance. Not sure if this is healthy at times. But even when things are really bad I can still block everything out and write.

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  23. Wow, what a spectacular change in mindset! I definitely want to work on that this year--smiling at challenges sounds absolutely wonderful.

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  24. I'm totally with you. How you face a challenge can define weather you'll come out of it victorious or not, even before you ever start working on it. Mindset is indeed a powerful thing and I hope your new outlook on life will bring you great satisfactions. Good luck!

    Hopping from Diary of a Writer in Progress.

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  25. I picked up 'Mindset' yesterday, it's being fast-tracked to the top of my TBR list :)

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  26. I like to use this analogy:

    When purifying silver or gold, the substance has to be burned to melting. All the impurity is consumed by fire; it hurts, but when you come out of the fire, you are left with something precious.

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  27. what a greaaat post love your blog =) follow

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  28. I can so relate to this. I'm afraid of failure. Or, more accurately, of 'looking stupid'. It's only in the past few years that I've learned that it's okay to fall over, as long as you can get back up again :-)

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  29. My mindset varies from day to day! Sometimes hour to hour and worse, minute to minute. I agree with Sarah (above) that as long as we get back up, we're ahead of the game. It's what keeps life so interesting! ;-)

    Btw, I'm a new follower...tag, you're it!

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