Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Mentally prepping

You that time when you are about to embark on something that scares the crap out of you. You mentally prepare yourself to take the next step. Some of you may just jump in and that's awesome. I sometimes do, but if it involves my stomach to churn and my mind has time to think about it, I mentally prepare for the worst. I know what a negative way to think, but if something good happens then it's a pleasant surprise. I do have a better mindset then I did a month ago. Instead of dwelling on things, I'm accepting. If I can't change it, then don't worry about it.

Here's my deal. I'm getting to the point that I'm learning to accept that this manuscript may not the one that will get me an agent. Why? I don't know. I feel it. I see all these horror stories and am told your first manuscript never gets it. You need to learn, grow, strengthen, and write more novels (that's what I've read). I'm not giving up. I'm accepting reality. Am I going to query this? Absolutely, I'm going to query it. I've been working on it for 3 years. After this last go around to the betas, it's going out. I have to give it closure. It's dying and I have to bury it, let it go. I can't write anything else until this one is at rest and I can't just put it away in a drawer, I have to literally let it go.

I love this story and these characters and part of me thinks I'm the only one who does. That I keep holding on to some delusion that it's awesome. So there it is. I'll wipe my hands free of it the end of January. Let it go and let the big "R's" roll in. Okay, I know what some of you are saying, "Wait, you never know what can happen." I know, anything is possible, but I'm being realistic. I'm happy where I am. I can't begin to tell you how much I've learned on this manuscript. It's definitely improved a lot. I mean A LOT. I know what to apply to my future manuscripts. The next one is written it needs tweaking so maybe that one will be the one. I know I'm jumping the gun in my thoughts and I'm not sad or depressed, in fact, happy to know there will be closure. I will continue to grow and learn with another story.

I'm not giving up that would be crazy. I'm not giving in. I'm prepping my mind to move on. Get through this and keep going. I have so many other stories to tell, and until this one is gone, I can't continue. Now, if I can just stop worrying about what the betas will say. :)

Do you mentally prep for big leaps in your life?

Have a great day!


  1. Girl, take a deep breath and think about what you've done. You finished a book. Finished! Anyone can think of a book idea. You know how many people actually start writing it? Me neither, but not a lot. And how many finish?? Less!

    You've sent it out to betas (something I'll wager not many do) and you've revised your heart out. I haven't read your book, but I already have faith in it.

  2. I totally agree with The East Coaster. You should be proud!!!

  3. I think part of moving on involves a grieving process--with all the usual faces of grief (denial, bargaining, anger, depression, acceptance). It may be that after you write the third book, you will have figured out whether your early manuscript can be awoken from cryogenesis or if it needs to remain on ice.

  4. I didn't even query my first ms for those reasons and b/c it sucked so bad I knew the only way to fix it was to completely rewrite it. And I just wasn't in the mental place to rewrite all that work yet. But then my second ms didn't get me an agent either, and I maintain it's brilliant. LOL

  5. Good for you! If you believe in and love your book, you should definitely give it a shot. I know you're prepping for rejections, but I've got my fingers crossed for you!

  6. I've just done this is my MS. It's so hard, but starting another project helps and gives you hope. I really feel for you. Maybe someday you'll come back to your book. If you love it as much as you seem to, I bet you will!

  7. I generally will spend about 24 hours mentally fretting and prepping for big decisions, and then once I'm done it's gone. Good luck with your MS. I hope you defy the odds and land an agent anyway!

  8. One thing to remember is that even if you do get a bunch of rejections it doesn't necessarily mean your book won't get published. It just might not get published first. And who knows what will happen? You just might get the surprise of your life when you query. I don't think it's about thinking positively or negatively about the outcome but rather trying not let yourself be too attached to the outcome. Of course, that's easier said than done :)

    Either way, I will wish you and your story the best.

  9. Oh yes I do mentally prepare because I like to have at least 2 or 3 back up plans in place. And don't worry about this ms, just write the next one and keep moving forward! Anything can happen.

  10. I definitely prepare myself mentally for disappointment--some may say it's a self-defeating tactic, but it does help me deal with inevitable disappointments--and yes, in publishing, disappointment is inevitable.

    When I queried my first novel (I didn't even know what a beta-reader was. I pitched it to agents *cringe* and all I got were rejections. I put novel #1 (and its sequel--#2) on the back burner and started a new novel, and applied myself to learning the trade. Novel #3 is a keeper, and I learned so much that I was able to go back and apply all that to flop novel #1 & #2. It's been like breathing new life into them.

    Even if the novel you're working on right now doesn't fly, that sure doesn't mean it won't someday grow wings!
    All the best to you! :)

  11. I definitely try to mentally prepare myself for disappointment, but every rejected query (or rejected submission to a publisher) is still a blow. It hurts, but you live, and you keep going.

    Marcy is right. The books you write might not get published in the order you write them. The second book of mine to get published is actually the FIFTH one I wrote.

    Now, after writing SIX books, I know how to fix books #2 and #3 (still struggling on #4). Wish I could go back and do-over #1, because I have a great idea on how I would do it differently ...

    You don't have to give up on the characters you love, but if querying doesn't score you a deal right now (but who knows? it might!), the lessons learned writing future books might give you the key to success for this one.

  12. If you're at peace with that decision, that's good.
    Instead of an agent, have you tried submitting directly to publishers? I never sent my first manuscript to agents, just publishers.

  13. I think you are SO STRONG for being able to say to yourself, "you know, this may not be the one." but if you love your manuscript, you should have faith that it's possible someone else could, too :)

  14. hi miss christine! for sure you just gotta be soooo proud of you. i like how you believe in your stuff and youre gonna keep trying. but for sure youre just real strong for accepting maybe this one not the one.
    ...hugs from lenny