Wednesday, October 6, 2010

The "F" word.

Yeah. I know what you're thinking so get your mind out of the gutter. I have used the word you're thinking of in a desperate moment of anger or frustration but that's not the word I'm going to talk about.

Fail.

It's quite a scary word at times, maybe dirty. We try to avoid at all costs but it's there waiting, possibly lurking next to the fruit bowl, ready to charge in.

It can happen in anything we do, at any moment. I think about it quite often and not only for my writing but for everyday life.

Will I fail as a wife?

Will I fail as a parent?

Will I fail as a human being?

Will I fail at opening the soup can?

The problem with fail is it has to happen in order for us to learn, to grow. I really don't like when it happens, in fact, most of my anxiety is due to worrying about failing. It has gotten better over the years. I'm more confident now than I was 10 years ago, but the thought of putting WiP#1 out there only to get nothing, stings. Of course, it's in no shape to go out into the wilderness, yet. I have to prepare myself that there will be a load of rejections and I have many more stories to tell. Yes, I have to rely on Opti for that one.

So, how do we cope?

We move on. Easy to say, right? Depending on how big the fail is--we may need to mope a little, eat a ton of chocolate then turn to our favorite alcoholic beverage before we can weed through and figure out what we can learn from it. I'm guilty of moping, big time, but I've learned to try to find something in it that I can learn from because if I don't, I will not be able to move forward.

I do worry about failing my goal in my passion for writing. I'm finally pursuing what I love so much and if I don't reach my goal, well it will hurt like hell, but I have to remind myself that living with regret is worse.

How do you handle the dreaded fail?

I'm going to move Writing the Next Line to Monday, October 11th. The hubs is off so I can leave it up for a few days.
I kept it short today to make up for my long winded Monday post.

Have a great day!

14 comments:

  1. Wow. Wonderful post. I've been feeling like a failure for a very long time. Until this morning! Keep it up and it'll happen for you eventually :o) It's taken me almost six years to hear the news I heard this morning. So just keep plodding along. You'll learn more. You'll hone your craft, then you'll succeed! mwah!

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  2. The nice thing with writing is once you get excited about your new project, you forget the one you shelved because of rejections. That's in the past. You've learned from it and have grown as a writer, so the new project can only be better.

    Okay, if you switch from 3rd person pov to 1st person and make mistakes like you never made before, then you might not be a better writer. That happened to me. But I wasn't ready to give up on 1st person pov and worked hard at getting better. It was a long tough journey but it was worth it. And it took the sting out of my previously rejected ms (which deserved to be rejected). :D

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  3. I always say, you've only failed if you didn't take away from the experience an important lesson. That means, a success can be a failure too. The only thing we should be afraid of is thinking we've got it all figured out.

    Great post!!

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  4. Great post. It's funny, I was just blogging about this yesterday. =)

    I think failure is good. It we grow from it and it helps us appreciate our success all the more.

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  5. Ugh, what a horrible word. I try to avoid thinking about it at all costs. I'm with Opti on this one :)

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  6. i love your thomas edison quote. so beautiful - so true.

    i give up every night. good thing each new day brings an opportunity to start again :)

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  7. This post makes me want to watch Meet the Robinsons. You know that part at dinner where Louis messes up and they all cheer, "You failed." And then one of the characters said that you learn something when you fail..."from success, not so much." And the motto, Keep Moving Forward. Love that movie. *wanders off to watch*

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  8. Great post. I think it's natural that we all worry we'll fail. I know I have to always battle the little fail demon in the back of my head. But moving forward, pushing through and lots of chocolate helps. I figure the disappointment fades, the lesson learnt is forever. :)

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  9. I wallow in some really loud music for a while.

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  10. Excellent post.
    When I fail, I wallow for a while, then I put on music and clean the house or go for a walk. Nothing like some fresh air to put things right again.

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  11. Great quote! Sometimes I let failure (or the looming imagining of it) turn me into stone and I stop moving forward. But over time the longing for my dream reminds me why I started and I begin again.
    Making Life a Work of Art!

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  12. I love that quote too. I think I used it on a post in the last couple of months because it spoke to me too. That idea sticks in the back of my mind. If I don't try I'm sure to fail, but if I keep trying, I may have some chance of succeeding.

    Keep up the faith!

    I'll have to remember to return Monday. I loved the last Write the Next Line!

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  13. I used to struggle with my fear of failure a lot. I'm getting better and not giving into that fear though, and I think a lot of the reason is because of friends like you, Christine. Learning not to fear failure in my writing has also helped me handle it better in my LIFE too. It's hard to succumb to FAILURE when you're surrounded by amazing people who ready to reach out and help you stand until you can stand on your own.

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  14. I don't have any good advice on failure other than to keep your chin up and learn from it:)

    Looking forward to writing the next line!

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