I have to say there are times when I feel this way. Invisible. I'm sure I don't help myself in this department. I'm relatively a quiet person when I'm in a crowd and I don't have a unique look or really brighten up a room when I enter. There are times I wonder what I could to differently to shine a little more. To be remembered more often.
As a kid, I was the same way. Very shy and very quiet. In high school, I had my friends and did well, but I was no homecoming queen. I joined the drama club thinking that maybe I could shine on stage and be a little more noticed. I wound up better at backstage activities--sets and scripts. After high school, I saw some fellow students that never uttered a glance at me in school, they said,"I wish we would've hung out because you're really nice." So why didn't they? Am I that threatening? But let's face it, it's high school and we know that deal. We write YA.
When I got into the work force, I just did what I was told and never did anything spectacular (I'm a pleaser by nature). Over the years, I've gained more confidence, and yeah, I'm social, but I still seem to project some weird awkward vibe that seems to make me blend. I'm sure it's not intentional, but I feel forgotten sometimes. Now, I'm not saying I don't forget folks, trust me I have a I-know-faces-not-names memory, and yes, I forget now and again. I'm talking in general, more like I'm just familiar to most and that's it. Maybe that's part of my many insecurities. People are busy and so am I, but I wonder if I'm just one of those who is just there. Ya know one of those people who are there all the time but you only see them when you need them. Maybe I'm too private. I don't express myself enough--put my life out there for the world to see so they can relate. I know it's something I should ignore, and to be honest, I've gotten better at doing things for me and not worrying about what others think. But sometimes this insecurity creeps in maybe to remind me of something or to just throw me off. Now that I'm older, I still wonder if I'm still invisible. What makes me shine? Do people even remember me?
So with that out of my head, I'm off to worry about my characters and figure out what do next in my story. I also have to research some more agents and send more queries. :)
Do you write (maybe in a journal) to get your feelings out?
Have you ever felt invisible?
Have a great day!!
