Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Insecure Writer's Support Group

Yep, it's that time. Another month has past. Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh for his super hosting skills. Also, when you are ready, go check out the other fine folks who participate.

Rejection stinks. We all know this. It's funny because last year after sending out numerous queries that were followed by rejections I thought I knew how to deal. I prepared myself with the thought that I would get rejected, but had a glimmer of hope for at least a partial request. None of it happened and after a beta suggested to keep my novel to one POV, I decided to stop. The novel needed more work, I had to face that. That's the thing. It takes signs to show us what we need to see. Rejection meant it wasn't ready. No matter how much I changed my query or my beginning, it simply wasn't ready. Did I cry? Yes. Did I get angry? You betcha. Did I tune out for a while? Uh huh.

In fact, I distanced myself from many things even those who support me, because I felt embarrassed and even a failure. The thing is--I wasn't. I'm a writer, and guess what, this comes with the territory. It doesn't matter how you cut it. You will get rejected, people will disagree with you, hey, they might not like your stuff or you, but you have move on and push through.

My method of dealing was probably ridiculous and down right dumb, but it's the way I had to deal, and now, I know better. I needed to find my focus and move forward and I did. Do I still want an agent? Darn tootin'. But I also want to be a better writer. A friend of mine, K.M. Walton, (who always has the best advice) reminds me--"You must do your time."She's right. You have to put your time in, do the best that you can, focus, and you will get there. She also says, "Don't let the goal overshadow where you are right now." Seriously, so true.

Dealing with all of it is hard, and yes, it's okay to have it out with your feelings (chocolate is a good friend of mine), you just have to figure out where and how to release the energy.

That's my pep talk. Now, put on your superwriter suit and get typing. :)

What are you dealing with lately?

Have a great day!!

22 comments:

  1. Revision hell, and trying not to constantly look up from my work to stare in wonder or horror at the prospective future. I really want to finish this revision by the end of the year, but I am a very slow worker. I worry if I try to go too fast, it'll just bite me in the butt and the whole thing will take even longer.

    So you know, the usual :D

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  2. I really like this article. I think taking time off of the internet is one of the best ways to recharge.

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  3. Oh yes. K.M. is very wise. So, so true.

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  4. A cold wised me up to taking some time away...it felt great, and I learned that the blog world still turns even when I'm not in it. So I don't spaz as much anymore.

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  5. Where do I get one of those superwriter suits? I think I need one of those! Taking a walk, stretching, or reading are some of my favorite ways of relieving stress . . .or I just go cuddle with my family - that works too.

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  6. *hugs* Getting through that growing stage is so hard. Good for you for not giving up though! Some writers never learn that valuable lesson about putting in your time. They give up and self publish a book that's not ready. I've seen it. I'm critiquing one right now and the author doesn't want to hear the advice. Which is sad because the story is good. Unfortunately the writing isn't quite there.

    So I give you an A++ for being willing to listen (after a good cry of course) and move forward with improving your writing.

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  7. Chocolate and super suits, that's the perfect solution for me! Agreed, rejection is a huge part of the writing world - one of the harder parts, I'm afraid.

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  8. Thank you so much for this pep talk. I needed it today. :) Good luck with your writing!

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  9. Oh that K.M. is smart. :D Christine, I check out all the time, and my emotions can be all over the map after years of doing this. So, I hear you, sister! ONWARD and UPWARD! xo

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  10. Waving 'hello' from the IWSG :)

    I think rejection is just a part of 'the process'. That doesn't mean we have to like it...only that we have to get past it and keep on trying.

    Like with many things in life, we have to 'pay our dues',so best of luck to you!

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  11. Lovely pep talk. Always appreciate reading those kinds of encouraging words.

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  12. I love your talk through for this common problem for us writers. You saw a problem, sulked a bit, then got to work. That's beating the human self-pity condition. Good for you! I wish us all all the success our hearts desire!

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  13. Love your positive attitude!! I've been dealing with trying to balance my writing/reading/marketing *sigh* And yes, chocolate is my friend too:-)

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  14. Christine, you always have the best attitude.
    Yes, rejection sucks. But sometimes it's a blessing - it's the force that keeps the five year old from trying to drive dad's car.

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  15. Christine -- Kate is SO RIGHT!
    You have to put in your time.

    I have countless trunk novels, some of them typed with a typewriter from back before I had a computer. Some are on floppy disks! My husband often asks about them and wonders if I will pull any of them out and work on them again.

    The answer is NO. They were my practice. The time I had to put in. I loved them when I wrote them ... but I'm looking forward, not backward. And so should you!

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  16. The part tha got stuck in my head was "Don't let the goal overshadow where you are right now." It's so true, when you're too focused on "getting there" you lose much of the actual road.
    Thanks for sharing:)

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  17. Oh Christine Big (((HUGS)))!!
    I work part time with Hospice patients because somebody has to. That job can be so rewarding but when one of my clients passes away, which is the nature of the job, it really sucks. That is the down side of that otherwise very rewarding job.
    Rejection is hands down the worst part of being a writer (Promotion being a very close second). Every job has a down side.
    Are you still in love with your characters, your story? If not then recharge your writer batteries (read, review, walk and eat tons of chocolate) and then write another one.

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  18. I can totally relate to this post. I queried my first and second novels way too soon, gave up on them, and now I'm taking forever with my third because I'm scared. As long as I still have it to edit and tinker with, it won't get rejected. Alas, it's hard out there. But eventually you get over it and try again. And yes, chocolate helps.

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  19. I've said that alot myself. You have to pay your dues. Doesn't mean you have to like it, but it does make it easier to swallow. :)

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  20. through your journey, you will definitely discover some strengths and weaknesses! good luck with all your endeavors! newest follower here!!

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