Oh Summer

Holy cow I've been a bad blogger. It's summer people forgive me. Summer is one season I do love. Although, it took on a different meaning when I was younger, well BK (before kids). After kids, it's totally different. I still love the beach days and the warmer weather, but it takes on a different feel. I do like spending time with my kids, but like every other mom out there, at times, I need a break.

Now summer is tiring. I enjoy going places with my kids, watching their faces light up when they discover something new, but I'm tired people. I'm counting down the days till school. You see the other thing that happens is writing time is squished down to the size of a pea. For me, I'm a scheduled person and when my schedule is jolted for a long period of time, mama gets cranky. Writing is my outlet and makes me feel human. It's true. It's a part of me and when it disappears for long periods at a time, it equals one unhappy lady.

Since writing time is a tiny window, my brain begins to melt. Yeah melt. It basically feels like a monster has come and taken the creative part of my brain and is holding it hostage. But this will pass. I know it will. Every year I get my time back. It's trying to handle the time away from my writing. I feel like  the well in my head dried up. I'm trying to do little things, but even that is hard cause I can't focus right. I'm trying.

I try to put things in perspective. At some point my kids will be teens and won't want to talk to me or need me so I should enjoy this and I do. There are times though a break is needed for personal growth and that's what I have to figure out in the summer. I need to still learn how not to feel guilty about writing when my kids are home. If they are quiet watching TV or playing, (work with me it is a rare occurrence) I should jump in and write, but I can't focus cause I'm anticipating an interruption or the next Hunger Games in my family room.

Life is like this. Learning to spread yourself to others while keeping you happy. It's not easy and is always a work in progress.

How about you? If you are a parent, how do you keep a writing schedule in the summer?

Have a great weekend!!

Learning to be a mom

I'm not a great mom. Trust me, no one is giving me a mom of the year award. I know, hard to believe, but I see other moms who are so much better. Downer, right? The thing is I'm not a natural at it. I thought for a long time that kids were what I wanted, and since my mom did it and did it well that I could too. The fact is--we are all different. I like kids when they are about 6 and not super needy. I know selfish, but I'm being honest. I've had to learn how to be a mom through life, through doing, and living it.

There's no book that tells you. Oh sure, there are million out there, and I've read quite a few, but guess what, they all don't apply to your situation or you child's behavior. You can take some of the advice, but don't follow it word by word. Same goes for other people's advice (take your own mom for example). There's only so much that applies. Different times, different situations, different feelings. I love my kids and I love being around them, but the way my mom makes it sound I should love it more. The truth is I need time, to myself. I just do. It helps me stay sane, but for others it may not.


Same goes for writing. No one can tell you how to approach writing a novel. Yes, there are certain guidelines and rules, but let's be real, they can be broken. There's also tons of self help books. I've read some, and they can help, but you have to decide how. You have to live life and learn. The grass may look greener in someone elses' field, but you don't know their situation. I'm sure they have weaknesses, or faults or just different everything. Just like many things in life, you learn through living and figuring out how to do things the way you need too.

I read something recently that, in so many words, said that writing was just a hobby if it took you more than a year to write a novel. Seriously? I'm serious about my writing. I know deep down I'm not stopping--ever. Yes, I write slow, I have other things in my life that I can't ignore, so if it takes me a year, it takes me a year. Not that I like how long it takes (I'm only getting older), but that's how I can. Just like being a mom, I do what I can and I figure out how I can do it--my way. I also try to figure out how to do it while chasing my passion. There is no right answer.

This can also apply to any aspect in life. I just happen to be a mom a lot, like all the time, I can turn it off or clock out, I've tried. :)

Do you believe the school of life shapes how you can juggle your situation and the way you learn?

Have a great day!