Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Stepping into the unknown

Yep. I'm still here. I have to apologize for the absence, but I've been writing, and well, as much as I love all of you, writing is what I need to tend to first.

So, I decided to revisit the manuscript I wrote last fall. And I have to say, I'm excited. Now, as you all know this feeling doesn't last through the whole process. There will be a point of I-hate-you, but you know that feeling when no matter what, you will see this through. The love runs deep.

Writing something new makes you feel like you jumped off a cliff into space. That first draft is a plunge into the darkness. The possibilities are endless, but the unknown is exciting and frustrating at the same time.

Then when you finish that draft a feeling of euphoria. You should be this way because you have just finished something not many people do.

After a small break, revisions travel over like a storm cloud. They hang there waiting for you to transform your story into something that shines. This is where I am with this one. I'm about to step into the ring and wrangle this animal. I'm at the point where it's all I can think about even when I sleep. A flurry wiggles in my belly eager to get started. Ready to take it on. Today is the day I start. It's funny how each manuscript is different just like kids. This is my third novel and I still get excited and scared at the process. You would think I would be used to it. The whole unknown sort of freaks me out, but it's a good thing.

Well, I may be down to 1-2 posts a week with this revision taking my attention.

How are your goals coming along?

Have a great day!   

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Distraction and books

I'm at that point in my revisions where new ideas and other manuscripts are distracting me. It happens to everyone. That new idea that's so awesome you know it's going to score something. Ya know, the dream. Of course, at this point, I know better. And yes, it's nice to dream, but reality is always a constant. Let's be real and put one foot in front of the other. Learn and grow is my motto this year.

I do like the manuscript I'm revising. I'm . . .I don't know . . . don't have my heart in it. I like it. Okay, I especially like the MCs love interest, but I'm not feeling the story past chapter 4. Something is missing and I can't figure out what, so that's why my brain is flirting with others. It's bored and needs something more. Whatever is missing is bugging me to know end.

So what's a girl to do?

I'm the type of person where I need to finish something before throwing myself into something else. My intention was to clean up this MS to at least have a clean story, send it to betas, and move on to the one I just wrote the end of last year. The thing is--I'm thinking the MC's main goal is weak, but who knows. Plus, this other newer MS has been stuck on my brain since I finished the first draft.

If I put this away again, I'm not sure if I'll come back to it anytime soon. That makes me feel like I failed, and I know it won't leave when I write or revise other stories. A break? A breather? To see how it goes? It's possible. And something I may have to try to move forward.

So how do you juggle this dilemma?

Oh and I have some book recommendations. Go check them out.

I'm currently reading this and like it so far.
Have you read any of these? Thoughts?
Have a great day!!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Insecure Writer's Support Group

Yep, it's that time. Another month has past. Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh for his super hosting skills. Also, when you are ready, go check out the other fine folks who participate.

Rejection stinks. We all know this. It's funny because last year after sending out numerous queries that were followed by rejections I thought I knew how to deal. I prepared myself with the thought that I would get rejected, but had a glimmer of hope for at least a partial request. None of it happened and after a beta suggested to keep my novel to one POV, I decided to stop. The novel needed more work, I had to face that. That's the thing. It takes signs to show us what we need to see. Rejection meant it wasn't ready. No matter how much I changed my query or my beginning, it simply wasn't ready. Did I cry? Yes. Did I get angry? You betcha. Did I tune out for a while? Uh huh.

In fact, I distanced myself from many things even those who support me, because I felt embarrassed and even a failure. The thing is--I wasn't. I'm a writer, and guess what, this comes with the territory. It doesn't matter how you cut it. You will get rejected, people will disagree with you, hey, they might not like your stuff or you, but you have move on and push through.

My method of dealing was probably ridiculous and down right dumb, but it's the way I had to deal, and now, I know better. I needed to find my focus and move forward and I did. Do I still want an agent? Darn tootin'. But I also want to be a better writer. A friend of mine, K.M. Walton, (who always has the best advice) reminds me--"You must do your time."She's right. You have to put your time in, do the best that you can, focus, and you will get there. She also says, "Don't let the goal overshadow where you are right now." Seriously, so true.

Dealing with all of it is hard, and yes, it's okay to have it out with your feelings (chocolate is a good friend of mine), you just have to figure out where and how to release the energy.

That's my pep talk. Now, put on your superwriter suit and get typing. :)

What are you dealing with lately?

Have a great day!!

Friday, February 1, 2013

Why I keep going.

It feels like this whole month has been about reflection for me. I've made a ton of mistakes over the past few years in my writing life and I'm sure I'll make more. I've let my thirst for a certain goal blind my focus. You've heard this before and it's nothing new. I think I'm trying so hard, but wind up getting beat down, which comes with the territory. The thing is I'm searching for a certain support from someone whom I love. I feel like no matter how hard I try, my writing seems a mediocre feat in this person's eyes.

I can't ignore all the support I've had from everyone, not only in this community, but in my daily life. It's beyond words and I can't be more thankful. But you know how you just want that one person to believe in you. Even if they say they do, there's that hint of doubt when they smile or that haze when you talk about a victory. My writing is me and I can't let that go so why can't this person see.

I keep going to prove that I can do this, to show that this is what I am. I've never written this into words before and I've been holding on to it for years. I know deep down this person loves me with all their heart and I love them.  I just want to stop feeling guilty for writing, I want this person to truly believe in me.

Sorry for the sappiness today. I needed to release this, and well, I feel a little better. I probably am at fault because I keep a lot of my writing a secret. I guess because this person never seemed to care about it. And maybe they do and they're too afraid to show it. I don't know. It's one of those things. No paycheck then why spend the time type of thing. At least, that's the impression I get.

Anywho, what's buggin' you today?

Have a great day!!