Wednesday, February 12, 2014

There's always light

I can't believe I'm posting again. Well, I am. I have to say things always have a bright side. It's something I'm learning to turn to. I'm quick to write my feeling down and post them though sometimes embarrassing. I think a lot. Trust me, my brain never shuts off. My outlook this year was to let everything go and move on, be more positive, because that's all you can do. Things happen for a reason. Some of which we may not like, but they are done for a purpose. Whether it's to make us stronger or show us how to improve. There are reasons.
My eyes have been opened and I'm finally at peace with who I am. I know where I want to be and I'm fine with where I am. My past is that--my past. Who I was and what I did only proves that I'm better person now and will be.
So look to the lighter side of things. . .always. People don't want to be around negatives. Trust me, I know.
Happy writing and have a great day!!

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

A public service announcement from the socially awkward.

I will admit it--I'm socially awkward. There. I said it. Many people find me strange. I know they do. The thing is--there are times, I just don't know what to say or how to even approach certain situations. It's a battle that I've had throughout my life. Mostly on the outside I can pull it off, but inside I'm cringing that I said something stupid or wrong. It's not that I don't like to talk to people, in fact over the years, I've gotten better, but I know there are times where I'm sure people think, "There's something wrong there." They retreat and become silent.

Another problem is trust. In the past, I put my trust into a lot of people only to be let down in the end. So I approach carefully to every encounter I have and when I feel threaten I go silent. It's not that that person is the problem or even did anything wrong, I curl up worried I'll be hurt again. So I stop and go into a dark cave.

I'm not sure how to cure it or even how to move ahead, but it's a battle and in the end I'm embarrassed and ashamed and lose many friends over the process.

Last year, I retreated, curling up in my hole. I tried to be silent because I was scared and embarrassed at my own writing. Why would anyone want to read my stuff? I can't get a request. But the thing is-- it's all in my head. I'm my own worst enemy. I worry too much how others see me than how I should see me. I follow the rules and I'm learning that it's not always necessary. This business is subjective so no matter how perfect I try to make my stuff, it may not get there because it wasn't liked due to personal preference.

I've been trying to break open my shell this year and throw all my worries to the wind, renewing old friendships and hoping I didn't lose too many. I'm approaching writing differently too. I focus on me. I try not to stay on social media too much and worry that I'm far behind and all the questions that come with it--why can't I catch up? Why can't I just get there? Where is that sign of progress? I will put that aside, the best I can, and move forward. Not letting what others say bother me, but take it as a lesson. Let it roll off as they say. I will put my needs first and not just please. I will because I know I can. I can't thank those who have supported me enough. They have been there through it all and my gratitude and support for them is all I can give.

I know I've been posting about my feelings a lot on this journey, and well, I don't have much to report so I'm trying to figure out how to proceed with this blog. I can't devote as much time as I once did. I will update on other events and writer stuff, but I had meant for this to be a place where other writers could come and maybe find that they are not alone. To share their experiences through this process.

I don't want to keep posting things over and over again because let's face it--that's writing. It has ups and downs and ins and outs. Things take forever and they repeat, it doesn't always have happy endings that continue. So I will be thinking of ways to change a little but keep the essence of what I started with. I'm in a quiet period. I have some things in the works, which are great and have me smiling and I will talk about soon, but on the whole querying front, the crickets are chirping and maybe this book isn't it, which is fine. I'll move on quietly. Here's my motto for the year. :) Write on people.

Are you socially awkward too?

Have a great day!!

A book to check out

Wow. I've been a bad blogger. Today, I will have two posts. The other post will explain a few things. This one is a book you must check out.

Control (Control, #1)

Pretty isn't it.
Author: Lydia Kang
Pages: 400
Publisher: Dial Books for Young Readers
When a crash kills their father and leaves them orphaned, Zel knows she needs to protect her sister, Dyl. But before Zel has a plan, Dyl is taken by strangers using bizarre sensory weapons, and Zel finds herself in a safe house for teens who aren’t like any she’s ever seen before—teens who shouldn't even exist. Using broken-down technology, her new friends’ peculiar gifts, and her own grit, Zel must find a way to get her sister back from the kidnappers who think a powerful secret is encoded in Dyl’s DNA.

A spiraling, intense, romantic story set in 2150—in a world of automatic cars, nightclubs with auditory ecstasy drugs, and guys with four arms—this is about the human genetic “mistakes” that society wants to forget, and the way that outcasts can turn out to be heroes.
I thought this book was awesome!! Loved the voice and the whole world that was created. If you haven't checked this out, please do. It has a great pace and keeps twisting and turning with suspense.
What are you reading now? Any recommendations?
Have a great day!!